I have lost so much time wallowing in laziness. I have struggled with motivation for the last year it seems. I work, I come home, I just want to sit here and forget about how much the day sucked. Working at a computer all day sometimes drains the life out of a person, I don’t think we were meant to sit in office chairs all day staring at tiny pixels. It just doesn’t feel healthy.
I rarely had energy, and just about any reason I could come up with seemed like a good enough reason to skip training…
“My stomach feels a little icky. ”
“I ate too much.”
“I didn’t eat enough.”
“I worked hard today and traffic sucked.”
“Is that staph or a freckle?”
“The lunar alignment is totally out of whack, I better start next week….”
I’m sure I’ve used most of those at any given time unfortunately. But one day it just felt wrong, I suddenly felt lied to. Lied to by myself, which is a weird feeling. So I have cut the excuses…
My new Goal: If something isn’t broken, falling off, or on backwards, I am going to train three times a week.
The last two weeks have consisted of two classes of jiu jitsu on Tuesday and Thursday and then Cardio/Weight Lifting on Saturdays. I would like to train jiu jitsu all three of those eventually, and maybe fit the weight training in elsewhere. But at the moment it is the most feasible option, but I just do not feel that two times a week for jiu jitsu is even close to enough…so the next step is to raise the bar to three.
On another note:
Being back, I am a much happier person, it seems training really did bring balance to my life. I found myself being so unhappy, unresponsive to friends, and a jerk sometimes when I wasn’t training. I think BJJ really does allow me some unexpected amount of therapeutic release. It is something indescribable, the difference I feel waking up after a night of hard training. Something indescribable, but great.
I think before now I had really been struggling to see or feel the things others were talking about…and although it is not that popular to say it seems…Jiu jitsu did not change my life. I did not have any life altering epiphany when I found jiu jitsu. There was no great revolution of the mind.
But it does balance me. It calms me. It is the perfect drug.